Again, reiterating it, don't expect a decade's worth of time with her, but enjoy her good while you two are together. Nor was there a lack of compassion or respect. Eventually I hope each wards get to a point where they know that as a ward family our job is simply to make sure that each person, member or non member knows that when they enter the house of the Lord, they are loved. For girls, being the right age for marriage usually means graduating high school, if not later. Because you are a good person, you will recognize the influence of the Holy Ghost and know that the church is true. I"am a man married to a female doctor with two daughters one is five years of age the other two and a half. I entertained without him, but with frequent phone calls, lol.
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Mormonism is a lot more controlling and has a lot more downsides. I appreciate your honest, and I really like the way you phrased things, particularly this sentence: Thank you for your comments. Initially I thought he would join the church and life would get back on the only track I knew. I know many of you understand how Im feeling and a lot of you have been there for many years already. Even Mormon girls who marry non-Mormons want great dads for their kids, and they are oriented to having kids, sometimes many kids. Marriage is meant to be eternal. The LDS Church encourages that young women explore their options and meet all different kinds of people. Two deployments, two years away and I've reached the point where it is honestly easier when he is away. They are at the service of others at the expense of their family. But on the main page of exmormon Reddit on the side bar there is a link to a site with links to all the pages on LDS.
If he says he wants to keep things casual, head for the hills - he's the latter and he doesn't appreciate you. Not being an RM, they weren't really interested in me. Although it may indeed be a good idea to get out of this one, we all need to keep in mind that the situation is more complex than that.
As the patriarchal leader, it will be up to you to figure it out and to dispel her unrealistic fantasies. How some find time for Affairs is beyond me!!. The scenario where she refused to watch a possibly 'anti' documentary and wanted to watch church-sanctioned material sounds like a red flag. There are many good things. It's hard right now because he's on a general surgery rotation so his hours suck and I never see him.